


this is not what i had planned

by ddeungyoon



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: I Tried, M/M, Ryan Ross (Mentioned) - Freeform, i dont know man, sad i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 19:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddeungyoon/pseuds/ddeungyoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Dallon just goes back to some years ago and drowns himself in a pool of sadness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is not what i had planned

**Author's Note:**

> I think I should be writing one-shot instead. My chaptered fics are abandoned, I'm... sorry. But, yeah, have a Brallon! 
> 
> title from that one band that all of you know,,, don't act like you don't know them you ungrateful shit
> 
> (kidding i love everyone of you)

i.)

Sometimes when Dallon’s logged in to twitter, he’d found himself going through his old tweets—and he’d end up regretting it. Sometimes when Dallon’s logged in to twitter and took questions, he’d found one or two—or even more—questions regarding his relationship with Brendon, he’d bitterly chuckle. He skipped those questions, though. And he didn’t realize it, but his heart would ache for a minute or two.

(He did, actually.)

 

ii.)

YouTube could be a jerk sometimes—or all the times, maybe. Sometimes when Dallon watched a video on YouTube, the suggested videos for him were the videos he’d like to avoid. Mostly, they were videos of old Panic’s shows. One day, out of curiosity, Dallon clicked on one video. It was good at first and Dallon was smiling until the stage gay was on. He’d blushed whenever the video showed Brendon grinding on him, or kissed him but he’d frowned when it showed Brendon put on some gay on Ryan. Brendon kissing Ryan, Brendon hugging Ryan, Brendon looking at Ryan with something Dallon had never noticed before. _Brendon and Ryan_.  And he didn’t realize it, but he was upset for the rest of the day.

(He did, actually.)

 

iii.)

Dallon hated how on tour, sometimes, people would leave him and Brendon alone. He didn’t know if it was on purpose or not, he just hated it. Sure, back then he would be fine being alone with Brendon. They’d tease each other, flirting with each other, played some games or, in some occasion where Brendon was on his edge, they’d  be found cuddling on the couch. It was then, not now. Everything was awkward now with Brendon, there’d been something invisible yet Dallon could clearly feel the existence. A thick, strong wall Brendon built between them. They were not what they used to be, and it’s sad. One day when it happened, Brendon was sick and they had to cancel the show for that night. They were alone in a hospital room. Dallon was on the couch, staring at his phone awkwardly until he heard Brendon sighed loudly. Dallon looked up, feeling a bit guilty for ignoring him—but hey, he didn’t know what to do or say. “What’s up?” He asked, trying his best to sound casual. Brendon sighed again, Dallon knew Brendon must’ve felt really bad about the show, but they couldn’t do anything about it now, could they?

“You know,” Brendon started, eyes closing before he continued, “This is now what I had planned.” Dallon looked at him with sad, sad eyes and he swore he could feel his heart aching and he felt upset but he didn’t know how to express them well. “I know,” Dallon said in a husk. Brendon didn’t say anything. After a moment, Brendon fell asleep.

 

Dallon looked at his phone again and there was a notification on twitter, from a fan, as always. It was just a conversation between two people but apparently someone tagged him. He read the conversation, out of boredom, and huffed when he found an old picture of him kissing Brendon’s forehead on stage. He looked at the picture, and then at Brendon, the picture, Brendon, the picture, Brendon and scoffed. And he didn’t realize it but Dallon muttered a “this is not what I had planned, either”.

(He did, actually.)

**Author's Note:**

> It's not as sad as I imagined it to be, but I tried.


End file.
